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Written by Center For Return

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Welcome to our wedding. We are honored that you are here to join us in our simcha celebration.
A traditional Jewish wedding incorporates many special rituals and customs. We hope the following explanation will enable you to celebrate with us with fuller understanding and joy,
THE WEDDING DAY
While today is one of the happiest and most memorable days of the bride and groom’s lives, it is also one of the holiest. For the groom (chatan) and bride (kallah), the wedding day is like a personal Yom Kippur (Day of Atonement), a day in which all one’s sins are forgiven. In fact, the bride and groom fast until after the ceremony1 and they recite a Viduy (confession prayer) during Mincha, (the afternoon service). Both the bride and groom wear white during the ceremony.2 As the couple begins their married life together with pure souls and a renewed clarity of their future goals they hope to accomplish together for themselves, their family, community and all the Jewish people.
GREETING THE BRIDE AND GROOM
Before the wedding ceremony, there are small receptions for the bride and groom. Our rabbis decreed that a Jewish man may not take a wife before he commits himself to his obligations to her both during the marriage and after. During the reception for the groom, this legal contract, which is prepared by the rabbi and signed by two witnesses, is called a kesubah. 5. During this time the bride sits on a special festive seat 6 while she greets guest at her reception.
Once the kesubah has been prepared, the groom, accompanied by joyous singing and dancing, is escorted by family and friends to veil the bride; a practice known in Yiddish as the badekung 7. From there, guests proceed to shul where the chupah.8 will take place; men and women will be seated separately.
The groom is accompanied 9 first to the chuppah.10 The chupah (marriage canopy) under which the ceremony takes place, symbolizes the home the bride and groom will establish.
Chuaph – Wedding Ceremony
The actual wedding involves two distinct parts: Kiddushin (betrothal) and Nissuin (marriage). Kiddushin begins with the rabbi making a blessing over a cup of wine (the symbol of joy)  and a blessing of praise to the Almighty for having sanctified Jews by giving them rules for marriage and having forbidden women other than a man’s wife. 13
The bride and groom then drink from the cup of wine. The groom then formalizes the betrothal by giving the bride a ring 14 while he states: “Harei at m’kudeshes li b’tabatas zi k’das Moshe v’Yisrael” (“By this ring, you are consecrated to me, in accordance with the laws of Moses and Israel”) which she accepts in front of valid witnesses.
The kesubah is then publicly read in the original Aramaic, to separate the Kiddushin (betrothal ceremony) from the marriage itself (Nissuiun)15 and to confirm to the wife and the community that the groom has accepted his obligations; whereupon, the kesubah is handed to the bride.
The ceremony of the Nissuin is completed with the recitation of the seven blessings of marraige16. over a second cup of wine. These blessings praise the Almighty for: 1) the fruit of the vine, 2) creation of the world; 3) creation of humanity; 4) the wisdom, intelligence and free will with which every person is endowed; 5) the continuity of Israel and the Jewish People; 6) the couple’s joy and happiness; and the 7th blessing wishing the couple delight, cheer, love, harmony, peace and companionship in their lives together.
Following the ceremony, the groom breaks a glass, again to remind us of the destruction of the Temple in Jerusalem in the year 70 CE. 17. At the breaking of the cup, family and friends call out “Mazel Tov” (wishes for good luck). The newly married couple are then accompanied to a private room, where they are alone together for the first time.
Up to now. All of these ceremonies are mitzvos (commandments) for the bride and groom to perform. However, there is an additional mitzvah, which applies to everyone at the wedding, this is the obligation to make the bride and groom rejoice. 20
Therefore, when the bride and groom rejoin the wedding guests, they are greeted with much fanfare and lively dancing. Some fulfill this obligation by performing tricks or funny acts in front of the bride and groom. And all the guests dance with and in front of the bride and groom. In accordance with Jewish law, the men and women dance separately.
The wedding dancing will be followed by a meal celebrating the performance of the mitzvah of marriage. 19 At the conclusion of the Seudas Mitzva (Meal of Rejoicing) the Birkas HaMazon (Grace After Meals) are recited followed by the sheva berachos (7 blessings).
1 Laws will be footnoted by their citation in the Shulkhan Arukh (“SA) customs by reference to the earliest source and the date.
2. Maharam Mintz (c. 1450)
3 The bride and groom don’t see each other for a week prior to the wedding, others a day; this custom is not found in early sources.
4 R. Yitzchak ibn ghiyyat (c. 1050) mentions that the groom wraps himself in a white garment and the Tashbetz (c. 1300) mentions that the bride wears white.
5 SA Even HaEzer 66
6 The Rosh (c. 1300) mentions a special seat prepared for the bride and groom; this is also the reason the couple sits on special chairs during the meal.
7 The Maharil (c. 1400) mentions that the bride is covered with aviewl before the ceremony.
8 The chupah is the separate place for the beide and groom, representing their new household, that culminated the marriage by law (SA Even HaEzer 55 and 61). Customarily, the word is used to describe the wedding canopy, following one opinion among the early rabbinic authorities. There is another opinion that it refers to the room where the bride and groom are alone together.
9 The Tashbetz (c. 1300) brings the custom that two people accompany the groom to the chupah; the Zohar mentions that the bride is brought by her parents.
10 Zohar (published c. 1300)
11 SA Even HaEzer 65